Friday, August 8, 2008

Gymology

I have recently been very lazy to go to gym, as the only inspiration for gym, usually walks away and does something far away from me, so I cant always see him (yes its you Nana). Needless to say when I do drag myself to gym, I end up sitting at a machine (in between reps) staring at the different people at the gym. The different stereo types that frequent the gym are amazing.

The Bodybuilder:
This is the guy that is usually in his late 30's up, who is so big, that he can not walk through a door without turning sideways. Still at gym every night, putting every single free weight on the bench press machine, gets a crowd gathering around him, and then does two reps while huffing and puffing very loudly....

The Trainee Bodybuilder:
AKA the bodybuilders bitch. This is a younger version of the above, but not yet as big. In fact, they are normally not big at all. They have one part of their bodies that are big (usually arms) and that's it. Follows the BB around like a lapdog, doing everything they tell them to not even questioning why and how.

The Model/Actor/Waiter/Health freak:
These are my favourites. They are usually very good looking (sometimes way too good looking), and as dumb as a sheet of paper curtain. They call everybody "bru" and talk incessantly about their boring weekend at Fashion Cafe and the amount of "chicks" that were after them (your Mens Health boy Tristan).



The Trendoids:
The latest sneakers, the trendiest vests, the cutest gym shorts, or newest tracksuit pants, all designed to look like they have worn them for years and have been in them the whole day. Joburg hair, prancing around gym doing nothing but chat to other trendoids about their latest acquisition of the best piece of real estate in the city centre. YAWN!!!!!!!



The Fags:
Of course they are there, and for them there is a whole sub-section that I am not even going to delve into now. They come in different forms, shapes, and trends, but are all there for the same reason. Trying to bulk up and muscle up, so that they look very straight, and hopefully bag a straight guy in the process.


Its amazing how these different types of gymers get forces into this confined space, and get along, but outside in the real world, they all want to avoid and kill each other. This is what I think about while I have to be training and getting a six pack to compete with Tristan's developing one....

3 comments:

Darwin said...

yes - the subcategories of gay men at the gym is practically endless...

I'm the one who stares at the straight men without shame until they get so uncomfortable the move off the piece of equipment I want (and I'm not talking about his gym partner - or am I?)

Bruce said...

I take offense to the model actor health freak category. I may be mistaken for Janez Vermierin often but atleast my intelligence is more substantial than a couple of sheets to the wind. Perhaps a cheap paper back novel maybe. I often wonder why married women let themselves go once they get the "ring". Just a thought.

JCLL said...

You dont fall into that catagory CLEARLY, because you can think for yourself....

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