Today's Rumi

If ten men want to enter a
house, and only nine find
their way in, the tenth
must not say: 'This is what
God ordained'. He must
find out what his own
shortcoming was.

-Rumi

Nerves

I am extremely nervous today. Anticipating the arrival of flight TK whatever from Istanbul. I am not sure what to do and what to say. Will it all be ok, will we get on? So I am just relaxing and taking it one hour at a time. Just for today. I feel like I am in standard six again, first day at school. Open for possibilities of what is to come but scared of those possibilities and of how I will get there. Maybe I am just over analyzing this, but that is so not like me. So lets just get through today and this evening.

Today's Rumi

Life/Soul is like a clear
mirror; the body is dust on
it. Beauty in us is not
perceived, for we are
under the dust.

- Rumi

The Disease

Sometimes the disease takes hold of my throat and squeezes as hard as it can. Trying to suffocate me and trying to drain the very last drop of life out of me. This is when I need to get hold of myself and take my control back. I have to consciously force myself to step back and take myself out of the situation and remind myself that the disease is just a disease, and I can not allow it to take over my life. I will not allow it to break me down and destroy my life, I will not allow it to make me feel less of what I am. I reject the disease.

Today's Rumi

Todays Rumi has been donated to hungry street children.......

I try

I try to forget
I try to distance
I try to get excited
I try to be fulfilled
............when will I be

Another Friday night

So there I was, after swearing blind that I hate playing the game and going out to play the game, back again on the strip moving from one bar to the next and trying hard to catch at least one persons eye. Well, that didn't happen. Needless to say today I am feeling very tired from getting home after 4am, because they closed the club and told us to leave. Had my haircut to try and feel better about myself, that didn't work. Bruce went on a very extended brunch date ;-) and I went for Lunch with Rich. At least he made me feel better about myself after my dismal evening. We chatted and laughed about "butch" people, and he put me in a better mood. Now we have resorted to watching DVDs (obviously gay ones so we can feel even worse because we are single), and eating ribs from Spur. Nice Saturday afternoon.

Today's Rumi

The people of Love are
hidden within the
populace; Like a good
man surrounded by the
bad.

- Rumi

In the Mix

Saw a show last night where the most talented guy I know, and yes he is a friend, plays a middle aged Muslim woman called Haji. It was fun, funny, crass, entertaining, South African, Muslim, Walmer Estate. I laughed till I was crying. Everybody around me had such fun, and I kept on thinking how true this show was. Steye had a good time, but didn't get all the jokes, as he is Belgian, or Dutch, who knows what he is today. None the less, as a South African, and living in a Muslim community, I found it very funny. Its at the BMW Pavilion until 31 May. GO SEE IT!!!

Friday

Its Friday morning, and its cloudy and misty outside. I am so happy today. This weather gives me new energy and life. I can not wait for winter to come around and fill my days with rain and cold and mist. Its Friday morning, and I am still laughing from the show last night. A white guy playing a Muslim woman. Sucessfully I might add. Its Friday morning, and its the beginning of a long weekend, and I have an exciting one ahead of me. Its Friday morning, and I have this feeling in my insides that there is something imminent coming. Maybe its the thought of a visit from London, maybe its the two long weekends that excites me, maybe its my imagination trying to run away with me again, down the road of weird and wonderful. Its Friday morning, and its the start of a great weekend.

Today's Rumi

Behind every 'O Lord' of thine, are a thousand 'Here am I's.'

- Rumi

Blue Train

Blue Train yesterday. Went from Cape Town to Worcester. It was great being on that luxurious train and getting treated like a rock star. Had lunch in the dining cart and sat in the observation cart looking out at the Cape country side. It was a great experience with great people.

Dreams

Had a dream last night. It was very clear, and it was very overwhelming. It charged me emotionally and so today I am very teary, and feeling EXTREMELY sorry for myself. Had a dream about good things and good times and unexpected things. Things that make me want to never wake up, just keep on dreaming, even though I know this dream will end like it will in real life, and the good feelings will go away and that obsession will set in again, and I will be unhappy. How would I get out of that experience then, because I would have been stuck there forever. I had a good dream last night.....I wish I couldn't dream.

From another time

I dont get it





Paaikie
Markie
Melkie
Jamón y Queso
Bebe
Kyk my tol
4 out of 5 is a SWISS FRANC millionaire

And added recently...thanks
Tekken 4
Just close your eyes and pretend to fly
Dolce Deleche

Today's Rumi

I am drunk and you are
drunk, who is going to take
us home? I told you a
hundred times drink a cup
or two less.

-Rmi for Rich

For the Londoners

I am sending this post out to my friends in London. To the bloke who made the rest of my December, after Bruce deserted me for his mother, a pleasure and joy, and who always kept me laughing and made me feel so good. Who was always there to go for a ass-shaking with me. Thanks Rui. To my friend "in die Hemel", for taking me in when I was a South African in the UK trying to pretend that I did not miss my mom and I was going to stay forever. My friend I miss you and wish I could be with you and Charlie to go for a drink at the Leisure Centre. Then to the Turk. Waiting for you to come to South Africa so I can show you what Cape Town (I) is all about. I cant wait.

And then to London. My friend of fun and good evenings, walking home from Regent street, passing Soho, and popping in for a drink and staying until 2am. Waiting for the night bus with a Burger King in one hand to go home and sleep until 13:00, to wake up and go to work again. I miss you my city friend.

Today's Rumi

Do not look at my outward shape,
but take what is in my
hand.

- Rumi

The Trauma

So went walking yesterday with Lucca and Leche on the Promenade, as I do everyday, but today Bruce joined us. Lucca running around with his ball loving every minute of being there, and Leche trying to run away from the lead I have him on. Bruce got a little distracted and started speaking to someone, and I sort of missioned along, already feeling very sorry for myself, because I am so alone and will die alone and have nobody but my dogs and cant even speak to anybody on the promenade... I hear Lucca give a little yelp in the distance, but when I turn around he is ok and running away from a Labrador, like he always does. He teases big dogs and the minute they turn around he yelps and runs away. Only to see about 5 min later, that he has ANOTHER bite wound on his side. So this is the 4th or 5th time in the past year that Lucca has been bitten. I will supply the stats when I get them. Needless to say I was beside myself again, mainly because he NEVER wants to come to me for some love when he gets bitten...He would rather go to strangers then come to me. Also this morning when I left he was standing by the gate with those big brown eyes, crying for me and running around frantically because the open wound on his side is hurting or itching or burning or something. I feel so helpless when this happens. I want to make it better but there is no way for me to do that, and he cant tell me what is wrong. I think I am more traumatised by his bites than he is. I think I need to take a Valium and take a few days off...

Today's Rumi

If you are irritated
by every rub,
how will your mirror
be polished?

- Rumi

Sunday Reflection

Why is it that Sundays are always a day of reflection and analysis, well at least for me. Spent most of Sunday again going over the weekend that just passed. Asking those silly questions that don't really matter except on a Sunday. Why did I say that, why did I do this, why did nobody take not of me at Gravity, why did Rich have to take de Waal drive home. Most of the answers to these questions always gets me down on a Sunday. What is it about this day that makes us so melancholy and depressed? Why on a Sunday? Maybe its because we have had a whole weekend of laughs and fun and endless indulgence, and now, on the Sunday, the wheel has come around and it is time for our souls to experience the other side of our emotional circle.

Whatever the reason, Sunday is the day of reflection and so far, the result has never been good.

Today's Rumi

Deafened by the voice of
desire you are unaware
the Beloved lives in the
core of your heart. Stop
the noise and you will
hear His voice in the
silence.

- Rumi

I hate the game

Today's Rumi

When we are dead,
seek not our tomb
in the earth,
but find it
in the hearts of men.'

- Rumi

Winter

Woke up this morning with the rain drizzling on my window. Outside the gray day greets me and I embrace it and the cold wind that comes along with it. The rain drops on my hands and face feel like needle pricks of life flashing through my body and revitalizing my mind and soul.

Its here
Its cold
Winter

The Game

You walk in to the club that is packed from wall to wall with potential and all willing candidates, mostly single, or so you think, all with the same agenda as you in mind. To hook tonight. Some want to hook up just for tonight, some for their holiday in Cape Town, and some are honestly here wanting to meet that one person that will complete their lives and be their partner for the rest of their lives....in a club....at 3am...

As with everything in life though, there is a game we all play. Its called the flirting game, and it is not simple. The rules change from candidate to candidate but the structure of the game remains unchanged throughout, and it goes a little like this:

1) You place yourself on the dance floor in a very strategic place where you can not only get a view of everybody in the club, but you are in or around the passing traffic.
2) You start to dance, performing the best moves you have in you, having a great time for yourself but ALWAYS concious of who is looking at you, simply because you yourself are looking around at others.
3) You spot a potential that is pleasing to the eye, and now it becomes interesting.
4) For about 1 to 2 hours you spend glimpsing at each other, smiling every now and then, but mostly pretending to ignore them and having a great time with your friends.
5) You do the walk by test: Walk past them, right up close to them, and smile right at them. If they smile back, you are in, if they turn away, revert back to step 1.
6) After repeating step 5 twice more, you can now move in and offer to buy them a drink. It is ALWAYS a good idea to rather speak to them in front of a crowded bar with people pushing past you to get another vodka and coke, while you discuss the complexities of life, love and the latest movies at Nouveau.
7) In this crucial step you establish their available status. If they are single, and still able to stand up straight and make full sentences, then move on to step 8. If they are "there with their girlfriend", or "in an open relationship", or "its complicated" move right back to step 1.
8) They are now able to speak in full sentences and can give you their number. Take it and vow to phone them the next morning...

....But that becomes a whole new game to be discussed in another series. Happy playing guys!!!!!

Today's Rumi

From the heart of the
lovers, blood flows like a vast
river. Our body is
the windmill and love,
the water. Without water
the mill cannot turn.

-Rumi

Velaphi Mzimba

I went to Old Mutual yesterday to see some clients. When I walked through the reception area of the Investment department, I noticed a painting on the wall, and it invoked in me the feeling I felt the first time I saw it. Overwhelming emotions swelling in my eyes, my head, my heart, my body. Knocking at my eyes, my head, my heart my body. Wanting to flow out my eyes, my head, my heart, my body. It makes me proud to be an African. It invokes the spirits of my ancestors, and makes me want to be part of this life. It is the art work of an immensely talented South African artist called Velaphi Mzimba.

www.velaphimzimba.co.za

Let it Be

Today is not a sunshine day. The mist covers the sea and shoreline like a mysterious blanket covering the dirt and dilapidated house underneath it. There are things you can not change in your life, things that make you want to sit down and cry and not stop for a long time, but you cant. You cant sit down and cry because there is no time to do so. So you do the best you can, and you cover the dirt with the misty blanket and keep on going, because you are strong, aren't you. When these unchangeable things happen you just have to rise above it and in the words of the Legendary Beatles....Let it be.

18 Aprill 1948

About sixty years ago today, a little girl was born. Born into a life of hardship and poverty, as the second youngest of 8. This little girl went through life wanting to be a teacher to teach and mentor other children. She met a man, as most of us do, got married and had two children. Even though she never completed her degree as a teacher, she will never know how much she has taught and is still teaching people around her, shaping her children's lives and influencing others around her to be better people.

Today this little girl has grown into a strong, enduring, loving mother, wife and Woman. Still going after sixty years of pain, suffering and obstacles in her way.

Happy 60th birthday Mom.

Today's Rumi

I went crazy last night, love ran into me and said:
'I am coming, do not shout, do not tear your clothes, speak no more.'
'O love!' I said: 'I am afraid of other things.'
'There is nothing else' it said: 'speak no more.
I shall whisper hidden words into your ear;
You just nod in approval! except in secret speak no more!'

- Rumi

Lucca

Well, I was devastated this morning when I left for work. My first born, Lucca, was so sad this morning and looking for love with me the entire time while I was getting ready for work. He sat on my lap, he tried to get picked up constantly, and when I picked him up, he would just lie his head on my shoulder. When I finally left he followed me so excited to the gate and when I left and he stayed behind, I almost thought he was crying by the gate. I hate leaving for work and I hate leaving my dogs alone......

Maybe I am just projecting my issues with work and leaving home onto them.....NEVER....they love and miss me, and that's that....

Spare a thought

Yes I got to get onto the band wagon and voice my opinions. I protest against the invasion and murder in Tibet, because it is something that has always been very close to my heart. China took Tibet illegally and murdered hundreds of monks and people in the process. The world watches but South Africa gets punished for our "human rights offenses". I think it is every single moral persons responsibility to boikot the Olympics, seeing as the governments of the world will do nothing. I am shocked that the Olympic councill decided to award China the Olympics to start off with, but I guess in the end, its all about money and power, even if they profess that its all about unity and the sports.

As for Zimbabwe, well he is just a freak and should be eliminated from the world.

Free Tibet.....
Liberate Zimbabwe

Eskom

So I am sitting here by the dim glow of three white candles, one in a cream soda can, one in an old apricot jam can. I don't own candle sticks. What to do on a Wednesday night when you are used to watching TV and all of a sudden the power goes off. First you swear and curse every single person involved with Eskom, but not too badly because you are so used to it by now. Then you relax, light some candles and pretend you are having a intimate evening with some friends discussing intense issues of faith, love and politics. Friends are all out, its boring not intimate. I am going to bed. Pissbuggerfuckwhorecow of a Eskom!!!

Todays Rumi

Two reeds drink from one stream.
One is hollow,
the other is sugar-cane.
-Rumi

African Beat

There are times when I experience something that is uniquely African, that my heart swells in my chest, and it expands to my eyes trying to push out of my body because it is so big and proud of my Africaness. Last night I experienced that again. Drums beating to a rhythm that is only African. Dancing and singing in a language I don't even understand, and big black men with dreadlocks beating drums with a ferocious energy that is intoxicating.

I love being an African.

Art as flirtation and Surrender

In your light I learn how to love.
In your beauty, how to make poems.
You dance inside my chest,
where no one sees you,
but sometimes I do,
and that sight becomes this art.

-Rumi

Early Rising

Something interesting happened this morning. I woke up at 6am, not very different from any other morning, but this time I actually got up and wanted to go to gym. It was a strange feeling, I must admit, but I found myself quite excited to get to gym, early, and so got ready and was out of the house by 6:15am. Got to gym and when I got upstairs in the training section, I found myself automatically scanning the floor, looking around. What was I frantically looking for this early in the morning. Only when my eyes finally found what they were searching for, did I realize why I am so happy to go to gym, and what I was searching for. A nice smile, a nod of the head, and a "hi Jacob"..... Ahhhhhhh let the day begin. Bring on the weights, bring on the day, bring on HB, bring it all on. I think I like someone.....

Choices

Manhattans Sunday night

I am constantly baffled by how and why people get together. There are couples out there that you take one look at and then have to, at the top of your voice, shout out ..... "Miss match"!!!! Then there are people who you look at and you get that glare in your eyes and you have to tilt your head to one side, and with a pouted lip remark ... "Ahhhhhh". Then there are couple who you look at and just think what the hell are you thinking.

Whatever it is, people come together and stay together and are together, and they are happy. So i will stop questioning why people get together, and just remark on if they are happy together. If THEY are happy together, why should I worry.

He is your type, because you are together.....Enjoy it!!!!!

The Chelsea Norris Fund Raiser

Well the evening at the Tokai Lions club went down very well. There were quite a few people at the big bash, and entertainment was provided by two great bands. For the select few party till there is nobody left, entertainment was provided by Richard Arthur and the Arthuretts. Thanks for the trip down memory lane with you mouthing, and not knowing all the words, to all the familiar classics.

I look at my hands, two of them, gripping my dogs and playing with them. I look at my feet, two of them, walking on the promenade for hours with no pain. I listen to my voice, clear and crisp, talking to others. I am fine, I am healthy, I am whole.

I look at your hands, one closed one open. You cant hold your own child with open hands. I look at your feet, one walking one dragging. A daily walk for me is a gargantuan struggle for you. I hear you speak and listen to the muffled slurred speech.

Locked-in syndrome. Does it mean locked in your body only, or does it mean locked in a body that isn't yours. I think I finally understand what it is to wake up in the morning and leave half your body in bed. The struggle of getting people to understand you, to accept you, to respect you. To be you inside you, but not you that you should be.

With this broken, shattered body, you still mange to inspire people, to love people, to cherish people, to respect people, to prove people wrong, to make people Believe. I am those people.

I want to inspire like you do
I want to love like you do
I want to cherish like you do
I want to respect like you do
I want to believe like you do

Yolanda, you are my one constant star of Bethlehem, and I love you till the end of time.

Saturday night

Its Saturday and already the evening holds a few great options. I have committed to a fund raising party with Richard tonight, and am looking forward to it, but isn't it just so typical of the universe to send you 500 different options of good quality at the same time. Last night I was offered tickets to go and see Chicago tonight, and I had to decline coz I am going to raise funds for a girl going to do Karate in Switzerland.....Don't ask. Then this morning I was asked to go to movies this evening to see the Diving Bell and the Butterfly, which is the first movie in about a month that I really want to see, but I had to decline.

I found a way to make myself feel good about my choices and still do what I want to. I am going to the movies during the day to see the Diving Bell and the Butterfly, and then going to raise funds for little Chelsea Norris.

Brain Box

I woke up last night at around 1am to find myself on my red, uncomfortable, couch with a aching neck. As I opened my eyes, I saw something on TV. A bizarre experience where a black lady with a posh Nigerian-British accent, was busy telling people to phone now and give her the answer to some riddle. Again, and again. That was her dialogue. "You could win the R60 000 is you phone now....and give me the correct answer". I thought I had slipped into a parallel universe. I pushed the info button to find out this was some late night interactive game show, and although the R60 000 prize was enticing, I could not help but wonder who the hell sits up at 1am on a Saturday morning, specially to watch this crap AND then phone in. The answer to that conundrum came very fast. Some woman from some remote little town phoned in and "took a guessing on whose numberrrs". After the number game the host moved on to the next game. A word guessing game. They scrambled the name of a TV show and you had to guess the answer. They gave you Sart Tekr. Now on this almost impossibly difficult game, this girl on TV did not stand still. She kept on walking from one point to the next and back to keep the background moving.

I think this show should be renamed from Brain Box, to BRAIN DRAIN

For my junkies

This post is to say thanks to Linda and all the other junkies who get my counter up everyday. I am pleased people enjoy my blog so much and will try to keep on posting interesting things on here everyday. Well of course they will be interesting because they are my thoughts. Thanks Linda for the FB thing.....

Celine

I was forced by gun point to watch a Celine Dion concert last night with Richard. It was crap. Rich Celine can never be better than Tina, and Josh NEVER better than Andrea....

New Beginnings

I will try to open myself to the new beginnings in my life. To shrug off the old and musty odor in my clothes that I love so much and want to smell all the time, even though I know it doesn't smell good. I will try to limit contact and know that it is better for me. I will try to be hopeful and open for new fresh horizons, filling my life with sweet smells of life that will kill my addict and make me loose all interest in the musty smell.

It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Thanks Kitty

Sweet comic Valentine.......
you make me smile
with my heart

They come and they go

Its that time again in my life where I say goodbye to some people, or situations, or circumstances, and its no fun for me. Friends are going, moving on to other open spaces, and more are coming along, to fill that space. This process of changing spaces, always leaves me unsettled. I normally start to pull away before the actual time, and start to try and stabilise my life without the people who are leaving it. Although its not really a full abandonment, its just a semi moving along. And then people come along that you haven't seen for a very long time, and they have "grown up"..... I like it.

Come on the shift of change, bring the new flowing energy of life that was stuck beneath the hard crust of what we call our life today....

James - Now you have been mentioned

Table of Peace and Unity

So I have been wondering and pondering about how I could get myself invited to the Table of Peace and Unity on 27 April 2008, when Michelle phones me and asks me if I want to be her partner at the event. Thanks Mich!

Octopus Garden

Had dinner last night at a friend of a friends house. Very nice dinner with great company and a revelation about a rugby book. After dinner went to a place called the Octopus Garden in St James. What an amazing trip we took. Its like stepping into a world of colour, glass, fish, and everything nice. The most amazing quotes and writings in the toilet about love, loss, and just all thoughts. Its an explosion of underwater dreams that mixes with the forest people to create the most extraordinary dining experience.......and we didn't even eat anything.

Check it out....Octopus Garden - St James

Greyhound Meeting

Last night was a proper meeting of Greyhounds on the promenade. Took Lucca and Leche for a walk (2 x Italian Greyhounds) and met Nero and Puma there (2 x Whippets). Nero and Lucca grew up together so they had a great time playing and chasing each other, and Puma seemed to bond with Leche. Then on the way back to the cars, we met Milo and Merlin (2 x Italian Greyhounds). So there where six Greyhound breeds running around on the promenade. Very cool, but I have to, as pretty as Puma is, and as sweet natured as Nero is, the Italian Greyhounds were GREAT!!!!! and Lucca is the cutest of them all.....even if he is overweight......

Weekend

I cant believe it is Monday already. This weekend was way too short. I am sick today, have the flu and a snotty nose. I am sniffing like Sulveigh....hehehehe....

So going to have to go home and get my dinner in bed, and take lots of medicine.....HINT HINT.....

Sunday Morning

Woke up this morning to the sound of rain on the roof, on the ground, on the window. Dripping noises and a little cool breeze. Had my two dogs with me. One in my arms, the other by my feet, keeping me nice and warm and snuggly. Winter is going to be good with them here. Still in bed just lying here listening to Damien Rice. Sundays are good.

Lazy days of Summer

Its the last few days of summer, and the earth is already beginning to turn. Leaves are changing colour to yellow, grass is turning brown, there is a chill in the air, and even the sun is dimming. Sunsets change the air into a bright band of orange, red and purple layers. Went for a walk on the promenade today and there was an icy wind that blew as soon as the sun started to set. The ocean was restless and waves crashed all the way up onto the promenade. Winter is on its way. I can not wait. Summer is so overrated. Sun, sand, heat, sweat...its not nice.

Then to top it all...Leche ate a dead, rotting mouse...Nice!!!!

Bruce is back!!!

My friend is here from Jozi, Bruce, and I am so glad he is back. We took the dogs, Leche and Lucca, for a walk on the promenade yesterday and saw the most impressive sunset...again...

Yesterday was a day for friends old and new. Saw many of my regular promenade walking friends, and one I haven't seen in a long time. Welcome back Jen!!!! Chutney has forgotten who I am....All my old friends were also there. Kitty and Steye-guy, Bruce and then I got a call from London...

Thursday 3 April 2008. Good day.

Fenerbahce 2 - 1 Chelsea

For the Turk

....For the lovers

Coffee was nice
The MSN was intense
London is calling
And its a close shave
But in the end, just close your eyes and pretend to fly....

Forms of Love

Love manifests itself in many ways. To some love means caring enough for someone to shave them, even if they will shout at you in a foreign accent. Others believe love means showering someone with expensive gifts. For others love is the feeling of contentment when you wake up in the morning in a lovers arms. Some find love in the cheerful eyes of a dog or cat, while others think love means having a black eye every morning, and trying to blame the kitchen cupboard. Others find love in far of places, like London, and then dream their whole lives about getting that person or love closer.

I have for many years believed that Love is an Utopian emotion. It is such a strong and all consuming emotion, that when you have achieved love in its purest form, you will be filled so much, and you will want for nothing else, and you will expire.

But of course nobody has experienced that yet, because we are all still here. So until that day, we all experience different levels of love and different types of love that works for us.

The art of driving

It truly is an art to drive in this city. Having to navigate the streets where people decide to get into their cars, but forget to take their IQ's with them. They drive as slow as they can on a one lane road, so you get stuck behind them when you are at your latest, but the minute you go onto a two lane road, they charge ahead so fast, that you cant even change gears fast enough to pass them. Or those individuals who feel they were given the right to just stop in the middle of the road, and turn their hazards on.

But my ultimate favorite are those special individuals who dart over the intersection to go and stop behind the last car, and doing so blocks the intersection, because the light is now red for them, but they cant move. And then they just stare at the car in front of them hoping the car would disappear so they could move forward. But then, when you actually hoot at them, they start to swear at you and ask you what they are supposed to do!!!! I will tell you what to do, wait behind the line.....

Salt River circle....the freaks going to the N2 coming from town, always backs up but still keeps on driving around the circle and block the traffic going up to main road. A Muslim guy once did that and when I hooted, he got out of the car and started walking towards my car. He was about 50, fat, and very out of shape. I was ready. But then all the other cars stated hooting at him, and I got out my car. His eyes grew about 5 times the size they were, and he got back into his car and drove off.

But don't all you Joburg freaks think you are great drivers....at least here in Cape Town, we acknowledge other drivers on the road.

Hey, what would you rather want....me ranting and raving on here, or me getting out and actually killing someone on the road....

Drive safe please...I am out there

Breathe

But How,
Do you expect me,
To live alone with just me?
'Cause my world revolves around you,
Its so hard for me to breathe.