My two boys

Even though I will be with at least one of my two boys over December, I will be missing my other boy soooo much, and I know he will be well looked after, but I am still very sad to leave him (and Leche and the cats) at home. He is going to be so depressed.

Week Update

I have had no time this week to post anything, so here is my week update.

On Tuesday I won R1000 on 5Fm (a local radio station), and am now in the draw for the grand prize today. R30 000 worth of apple goodies which includes a Mac book, a iPhone, iPod, and.....Apple TV...I am so excited I can almost not sit still at work. This is however over shadowed by Tristan's continuing headaches, that the doctors can't really identify the cause of. He has had a headache, non stop, for about 2 weeks now, and I can see that it is so painful. He has been for a CAT scan, and yesterday went for a MRI, and the doctors response is just: "it might be this, or maybe that, but here use these nose drops, coz maybe its a sinus headache". Not good enough. They need to figure out what is going on with him RIGHT NOW!!!

On a lighter note, we booked and paid for our air tickets this week, and they were R2500 less than we budgeted for. BONUS. So now there is no turning back. The holiday is in full swing.

That is my week so far, I will keep you all informed as to the situation of my Apple Acquisition today.

The Cederberg Weekend

We set off for the Cederberg this weekend, along with two other couples. We only left on Friday night around 11:00, and it is a 3 hour drive. On Friday afternoon at around 17:00 they phoned me from the Cederberg and told me to take a detour because the mountain was on fire and the road was closed, but there was a strong wind and it should be sorted out by the time we arrived. at around 1:30 we hit the dirt road that leads to the holiday resort we were going to. As we drove in, a firefighting car drove out. I stopped them and asked them if the road was ok to travel on, and they said absolutely no problem. We decided to continue. About 20 min into the drive we came across the fire. Flames as high as the car on both sides of the car, making it so hot inside the car, that the aircon couldn't work well enough to cool us down. Flames were licking into the road and flaring up on both sides of the car.

It was very scary for me.

The weekend was amazing. We went to the natural pool and swan in the river, explored the banks and even went for a walk. A 5 hour walk up a mountain and into a gorge that looked like Petra in Jordan, and then back down again. The only problem was that we were suppose to walk for 3 hours and walk in one side of the "crack" and out the other side. It didn't happen that way.

All in all it was a really good weekend and I loved spending it with my family (Esme & Boby), my friends (Kate & Steye) and of course my wonderful man Tristan.

Driving back though we saw the devastation the fire had caused in the beautiful Cederberg valley, leaving it black and scourged.

First day of Holiday

So its the first day of my holiday, officially. I am got the whole week off due to good behaviour and am going on holiday Friday. Today was the first official day of my holiday and we spent it driving around trying to find Christmas lights. Instead we bought camping chairs, wine, a jerry can, and finally got some lights. Its been a very interesting day. Tristan has been feeling a little down and I don't know what to do with him.

But its only 3 sleeps till Christmas, and 4 sleeps till we go on our camping trip to the Oranje river. Its such an exciting time of the year. Its my favourite time of the year. All we have to get sorted now, is dinner tonight.

Weekend

Its Friday afternoon around 14:30 and I am so excited as my sister is arriving for the weekend this evening. She is come to visit us for 2 days as a belated birthday present. I cant wait for her to arrive and meet Tristan and all my friends. Its going to be a good weekend, coz it is going to start with a walk along the promenade with the dogs.

YEA WEEKEND!!!

No Sleep

I had a very restless night last night. I constantly got kicked by "someone", and when he wasn't kicking me, he would turn around, jerkily, and pull the duvet off me and my two dogs. Eventually one dog got so fed up with this, that he went and slept in between Tristan's legs, because at least there he would be covered all the time. In between these jerking awakenings, I had weird funny disturbing dreams that I cant remember now. All in all it was a very restless evening.

Weekend come down

I had a great weekend. Expensive, but great. We went to get tattoo's but came back with a whole lot of other things, including a new couch and work shoes that are so new, its hurting my toes already and it is only 8:15.... The weekend was good and it was spent with Tristan and the dogs and doing nice stuff. Now I am in the office and its that weekend / Monday come down. I am so blue and feeling a little fluish (but that is no new), and want to be back in the weekend lying around or walking the dogs or just chilling. I am scared shitless again to start today and this week, specially when I have almost no appointments this week.....And these darn shoes are squeezing the living shit out of my toes!!!

Comedy Awards

Last night we were lucky enough to go to the South African Comedy Awards. It was allot of fun. There were some great acts and really good awards. The Vodacom add "We've been having it" won the award for the best comedic advert. The surprise for the evening was that the Mayor Helen Zille walked out onto stage and presented an award. She was so funny and was great at it, but true to her German form, before she walked off, she cleared out the podium and took all the previous "envelopes" with her. Then Tristan also got his fix, and in fact is still talking about it and fantasising about it. Janez Vermeiren walked onto the stage as a presenter with his shirt off and pretended to be god's gift again. Tristan has a little crush on him, I think he has a nice body, but he is not my cup of tea. All in all it was a good night and tonight its off to the actual shows, and then on Saturday night its off to the Puppetry of the Penis show, but that's a story for another day.....

Weekend past

I had a phenomenal weekend. Kate, Steye, Tristan and I decided to go up the west coast and onto Clanwillima to look at the yearly wild flowers. It was so special. We drive to Darling and saw the most amazing wild flowers just growing randomly in a field. Drove on to the West Coast Reserve and saw some more flowers, but the best was on Sunday when we drove over the mountain from Clanwilliam to the Biedouw Valley. There were fields of orange flowers and we stopped and frolicked in the fields. I have photos, but I am a film kinda guy, so have to develop them. In Clanwilliam we stayed in a guesthouse, that was really nice, but very Afrikaans. The decor was a little kitch and flowery, and true to form, out of the two rooms, we got the gayest looking room. It was pink with pink everything, from bedding to lamps to curtains. On our way back we stopped over at "the farm". This is a very special place to me. Last year, while I was going through a very difficult time in my life, I used to go up to the farm and stay there for the weekend with the most amazing people. I was left to do whatever I wanted to and to just unwind and feel safe. Lucca used to come with me and he loved it just as much. He used to go around the farm sniffing and investigating everything. I haven't been there in a few months, but am planning to make return trips there again often from now on. All in all, it was a really good weekend, spent with amazing friends, reconnecting with old friends, and being with Tristan. Then it was Sunday night...

3 am Moments

This is not a moment at 3am when you get woken up and evacuated out of your building (Tristan). You get these moments in life where you get the most amazing clarity, after you have spent about two days and three nights of worrying and lying awake and wondering about what is happening or going to happen. After all of this, you get that one moment of absolute clarity where you feel everything is making sense and everything will be fine and you feel relieved. Last night we watched Eli Stone and a guy on there said he had one of these moments, but believed it was God speaking to him. This made me think about what God sounds like. How do we hear God's voice? I believe that everybody hears God in very different ways. I have had many 3am moments and yes, on some occasions I have heard God speak to me. I have heard, and seen God in many other places and ways also. I think we must all be very aware of what happens around us and specially on a subconscious or spiritual level. God speaks to us all the time, we just need to listen very carefully.

Male PMS

I know this is very hard to believe, but men actually also get PMS. There was a study done by Dr Aimee Aubeeluck who found that men suffer from most of the same symptoms as woman that are associated with PMS. These include things like antisocial feelings, poor concentration, depression, lack of arousal. I believe this to be 100% true (coz you cant get 110%). I am at that stage at the moment. I am feeling very down, drained and just not on top of my game. Everything is wrong today. My pants don't fit, they are too short, my hair looks funny, my skin is in bad shape, my tummy is giving me trouble...its all just falling apart. Haven't been able to concentrate since yesterday afternoon and feeling very antisocial. So what do we do about this. Can we also scream and shout and blame MPMS (Male Pre-menstrual Stress). Do we act like absolute assholes and blame MPMS. Can we stay at home with MPMS cramps? No, we are men so we have to just work through it, because most people don't even acknowledge that this exists. So what I am trying to say at the moment is: Stay out of my way, unless you are Tristan, don't speak to me don't try and antagonise me, just leave me alone until I am better. That should be in 2021.

A day In Cape Town

This is more of an update as to what is happening.  Its a grey and dreary day in Cape Town, but I am feeling quite good.  My head has stopped pounding from the sign post, I have signed and sealed a new job starting on Monday (now I think I should have taken another week off),  I have an amazing boyfriend that makes me feel really good and has so much faith in me, and I live in Cape Town!!!!  Of course there are a few things that are still not fixed properly.  Lucca's ear is still very bad, both actually, and he might need to be drugged for a few days.  I have put on weight, and need to get motivated to go to gym again.  I constantly think about a looming house hunt and move (which, if you know me, you know puts me in an instant depression).  I think the best thing to do is to go shopping.  Shoes maybe... actually I HAVE to go shopping for shoes, but for work, so its not even fun!!! 

Tristan and Matrix

Saturday night. Bed time. One bottle wine later. Tristan and Matrix.

Update on Lucca

So I have to take Lucca to the vet on Monday for a biopsy that has to be done on his ears.  The vet is going to put him under, and then first look to see if there is anything in his ears, and if he cant find anything, he will do the biopsy.  As usual I am a little nervous, coz Lucca doesn't like vets, and he is hyper sensitive to anaesthetics.  I am sure he will be fine but I have to worry as his "dad".  Tristan, he is not playing on my feelings, he is really bothered by those ears, and he is my baby.... 

Road Trip

Yesterday we did a road trip back from Mossel Baai, after the funeral and after the packing up of the house. It was a very emotional day for everybody there, and even I battled to be strong as I was missing my gran. We packed little Attila (my corsa bakkie) full of furniture to be brought back from Tristan's grandfather's place, and set off for the road back home. We didn't speak much as I think Tristan is still trying to digest the whole situation, but we drove through these fields upon fields of Canola flowers. They were beautiful and glowing yellow in the sun between the green fields. Barring having to stop every 70km to adjust the load on the back (actually only the blanket covering everything), the trip went fairly well and Attila did very well with the heavy load. As we got to Cape Town, we were greeted with one of the prettiest sunsets this year. Tristan is exhausted today, and I think it is all emotional exhaustion. Rest easy my babe.

Slow day

I cant believe how this day is dragging out. Its only 9:00 and it feels like I have been here for about 6 hours already. Maybe its because I am not going out on calls at the moment, due to the situation in the office. Staying in the office is not my favourite thing, and sure as hell is helping nothing to make my brain work better. The amount of cups of coffee and tea I have drunk in the past two weeks are unbelievable. Everybody else here still have work to do, that keeps them busy during the day, but for a sales rep....THERE IS NOTHING TO DO!!!! I think I am going to start developing "migraines" or "stomach bugs" so I can sit at home and loose my mind, rather than being here loosing my mind. At least tomorrow and Thursday I am out of the office, but its not a happy trip. We are driving down to Mosselbay for the funeral on Thursday. Its time to shine and make my "ray of light" designation a well deserved one.

As promised

I am adding a category to my earlier post Gymology as promised to Tristan:

The Hotty:

This is the guy who goes to gym, coz he wants to gym. He thinks he needs to bulk up or cut or get a six pack, but the fact of the matter is, he is perfect the way he is. He wonders around gym, completely clueless of just how hot he is, and how many others notice the same thing. He takes gym sort of seriously, but doesn't let it rule his life. This is the kinda gym bunny I like....

A Good Life

I am sorry I never got to know him, coz he sounds like a really nice oupa. I am sure he lived a great life and I am sure you had a wonderful few years with him. I am sorry I never met him, but I can imagine the eventful life he had. Flying a plane in the war, watching Cape Town and Mosselbay grow from little fisherman's villages to the cities they are today. I am sorry I never got to see him, but mostly I am sorry for your loss, and as much as I say here, or anywhere at anytime, it will not make it feel better or hurt less. Just know that I will carry you through this, with my prayers, and pray that this time goes by with less pain, remembering what a great, full life your grandfather lived.

Gymology

I have recently been very lazy to go to gym, as the only inspiration for gym, usually walks away and does something far away from me, so I cant always see him (yes its you Nana). Needless to say when I do drag myself to gym, I end up sitting at a machine (in between reps) staring at the different people at the gym. The different stereo types that frequent the gym are amazing.

The Bodybuilder:

This is the guy that is usually in his late 30's up, who is so big, that he can not walk through a door without turning sideways. Still at gym every night, putting every single free weight on the bench press machine, gets a crowd gathering around him, and then does two reps while huffing and puffing very loudly....

The Trainee Bodybuilder:

AKA the bodybuilders bitch. This is a younger version of the above, but not yet as big. In fact, they are normally not big at all. They have one part of their bodies that are big (usually arms) and that's it. Follows the BB around like a lapdog, doing everything they tell them to not even questioning why and how.

The Model/Actor/Waiter/Health freak:

These are my favourites. They are usually very good looking (sometimes way too good looking), and as dumb as a sheet of paper curtain. They call everybody "bru" and talk incessantly about their boring weekend at Fashion Cafe and the amount of "chicks" that were after them (your Mens Health boy Tristan).

The Trendoids:

The latest sneakers, the trendiest vests, the cutest gym shorts, or newest tracksuit pants, all designed to look like they have worn them for years and have been in them the whole day. Joburg hair, prancing around gym doing nothing but chat to other trendoids about their latest acquisition of the best piece of real estate in the city centre. YAWN!!!!!!!

The Fags:

Of course they are there, and for them there is a whole sub-section that I am not even going to delve into now. They come in different forms, shapes, and trends, but are all there for the same reason. Trying to bulk up and muscle up, so that they look very straight, and hopefully bag a straight guy in the process.

Its amazing how these different types of gymers get forces into this confined space, and get along, but outside in the real world, they all want to avoid and kill each other. This is what I think about while I have to be training and getting a six pack to compete with Tristan's developing one....

Mechanics of Relationships

Why can being with someone and loving someone not be easy. Why do we have to battle through this endless mine field of trip wire, that could ignite an entire lifetime of burns. What do you do, do you just run through them as fast as you can, knowing you will trip them all off but hope that by running the effect of the tripwire will miss you. Or do you carefully tip-toe around the tripwire so you don't set anything off, and thereby go through the entire field on your toes always balancing and always scared you are going to fall. Do you turn your head away from the blast every time you set off a wire, in the hopes that if you don't see the blast, it cant hurt you. What is the right way of dealing with these wires. Maybe it is just the chemistry of working together to get the perfect mix of how to handle them. Something that both of you would be happy to do when you do encounter a nasty tripwire. The problem lies in what is the perfect middle ground. I might have set off a tripwire again, and true to my form, I ran through it as fast as I can, hoping that on the other side, I was out and it was off and done. Well, its a very long process this loving someone. And these darn tripwires sure don't make it any easier.