Why do I feel so crap

This morning I had to take my youngest (2 year old) Leche to the vet. He is getting his manhood removed. It was so traumatic for both of us. Actually for all three of us. Lucca could not understand why I was locking him away on his own this morning. This has never happened before, so what is up. Leche was very restless in the car and knew he was headed for something big. Leaving him there in that cage with the vet was just too much for me. Am I doing the right thing? I mean I know I am doing the right thing because he has to be cut. He is marking everything in the house and he is not using them, so they have to come out. But I am wondering if I am doing the right thing for him and for me. I have such issues with getting him fixed. What it is exactly I can not say, but I feel almost like its wrong. He didn't ask for it, he doesn't even know why its happening, and I am playing judge and jury to him. Then of course there is also that issue of manhood and a reflection of mine...

Whatever the reason for whatever I am doing, it feels crap and most of all I felt so bad leaving my boy there in the cage by himself. Does this make me a bad father?

My two boys

I make the bed every morning before we leave for work. This morning I came into the room to see this huge bump in the bed. I knew it was a dog with is legs up, but when I opened the bed to see both my boys lying next to each other with their legs in the air. It was so funny. By the time I got the camera, they had already dropped their legs and were lying together like in the picture. They are both so cute and I am so happy they get on.

Eating habits of a dog

Leche is still not eating his food. He looks very scared when you try to feed him, almost like the food is poisoned and he cant eat it. I don't know what to do with him anymore. Where to take him and what to feed him, or how to feed him. He is not putting on weight anymore because he is not eating....... WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4:30am Wake up

This morning at around 4:30am, we got violently woken up from a peaceful sleep by Leche howling as if someone was slitting his throat with pain. It seemed as if he was being bugged by his tummy or something and he got cramps. He would be fine for about 20 min and then all of a sudden he would howl again and cant sit down or lay down. I was worried naturally about him, but after he went to the vet this morning, we got told that he had a pinched nerve in his back, or some sort of spinal nerve injury. He got a muscle relaxant and seems ok now. It will take a few days for it to be healed. The poor little thing is already so tiny and thin coz he is not eating, and now this.

Should I or Shouldn't I

I am sitting with a little dilemma. I have a 10 month old puppy and I have to now make the choice of having him neutered or not. The pros regarding getting them out is that he will not mark everything in the house, and he will not be aggressive and he will not be territorial and always running around trying to hump everything. The cons against it is that I am taking out my dogs bullocks. I am removing his manhood. That might also cause him to be more skittish with other dogs, it might cause him to be a soft little puny dog. This is such a big deal for me, yet with Lucca it was a very easy decision to make. Why am I so torn between having them out or not? What is the big deal? A veterinarian once told me that if I am not going to breed with him, I should take them out because they can cause issues in the future. I think I need to do more research into this to find out what the actual medical and psychological pros and cons are. Any suggestions on this will be very welcome!!!

The Storm

My mood today is very similar to the weather outside. I am feeling very down and very dark and very rainy. Lucca's ear is not getting better at all, and I decided to put a plaster on his ear to stop the blood from going everywhere however, I have made it much worse. First I had to take the plaster off the ear and by doing that, pulled some hairs off his ear, so he was howling like mad. Then after I took it off, I realised that the ear has gone pussy under the plaster, and of course right after I took it off, he just went ballistic with the head shaking. When I tried to leave, he did his dramatic thing again. Running from the far side of the corridor and flinging himself against the front door whit his entire body, howling and screaming and crying as he does that. Then of course Leche joins in and they howl at each other like someone is cutting their throats. This is all adding to my stress and making my mood extremely bad and I feel like a thunder cloud is following me. Then there is an added stress around moving house and its all just a little too much for me today.... But I am sure it will all be better tomorrow, coz its a public holiday at least!

My Peaceful Terros

I have two beautiful dogs. Two Italian Greyhounds. Lucca, who is the older, more wiser chocolate brown and white (he looks black), and Leche who is the young baby still very active, fawn and white one. They are two real little gorgeous things, and for the most part, very sweet and cute and cuddly. However, they have their times where they are so uncontrollable that I want to give them away to the first bergie who knocks on my door. Like when I leave them at home and come back to find my carpet riped up, and chewed along with my couch and a few socks. Then I try to discipline them, but they have no idea why I am screaming at them and they look at me with that "run away, he has gone mad" look. I think they are at their best when they are sleeping. They are so peaceful and sweet then.....actually, it takes them a hour to get to sleep, they never lie still and they take over the bed. They are little terrors, but I love them soooo much. I just need to discipline them better. But how do you discipline someone that looks at you with those whites in the eyes, and the head hanging low and the tail between the legs. Its so tough!!!

Salty Sea Dog

We went for a walk today on the beach in Milnerton. Tristan, Lucca, Leche and I. It was a great walk. We walked all along the stretch of beach next to the golf course. On our way there we saw a whale that was very close to the shore, blowing air all the time from his blow hole. Only after walking for a while I noticed the whale is not diving, nor is it moving. It turned out to be a rock. Very interesting. We crossed paths with a big Golden Retriever, and true to form, he started chasing Leche, to play with him. Leche, true to form, tried to run as far and as fast away from him as he could. The only way for him to go was towards the sea, and having NEVER been in the sea, he of course did not know what that was, and thought he could just run right over it. Well, he went straight into the surf and realised what it was and how cold it was. The problem now was the Retriever, who loves water, followed him, so now Leche wanted to come back to the shore, but the Retriever was behind him. He finally got out of the water and the other couple got the Retriever away. He was so cold and shivering and all wet....He was a Salty Sea Dog.

I must say I am a little out of place with this constant fear and fleeing that Leche does when another big dog wants to play with him. Lucca plays with them and runs around, but Leche only runs away with his tail between his legs, and mostly runs into trouble. I cant remember if Lucca was the same when he was younger and beefed up later, but I really hope Leche does, as his brother Bruno, is so comfortable with all other dogs.

Bad Day

Its my turn to bitch. Yesterday was not a very nice day for me. It started off with me taking my youngest little puppy (Leche) to the vet because he had developed this rash under his armpits. Get to the vet and ask him to also look at his eyes, as they have been a little dodgy over the past month or so. Vet takes a look at both and says that the rash is fine its just dry skin and gives me some omega oil to put on their food. With the eyes he tells me he has slight conjunctivitis but it should also clear up.

Outside at reception I have to buy food for the month for both dogs and get them flea control so get all that and waiting to pay the bill......

Issue #1 for Tuesday:

THE BILL COMES TO R1100!!!!!

Naturally I vomit first and then pay it, what could I do....

From there I went to buy a new tyre, because when the Argus race was on, I made the mistake to think that someone from the NW will be able to drive a car. Well I was wrong. I had to brake and swerve for a dude in a bakkie who made a U turn from the outside lane... So scraped my tyre on the sidewalk, and it grew a bubble.

Issue #2 for Tuesday:

THE BILL COMES TO R450!!!

A little vomit again, and paid...what can I do.

So after this hectic spending morning, I go to see a client and park in the underground. After my visit to the client I go to the ATM to draw money, and low and behold, the ATM swallows my card.

Issue #3 for Tuesday:

I HAVE TO GO ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK TO GET A NEW CARD!!!!!

At least the lady at the bank was SUPER nice and made it a little better for me....

So Tuesday 1 July 2008, is forever wiped out of my diary....It sucked!!!!

Leche demon eyes

My lovely dog looks a little evil with the green eyes. Its stuff so the vet can see any problems in his eyes.

Almost Home

Its Tuesday night, I have one more night in Durban. Tomorrow night I get home and then on Thursday is jumping time!!!! I am almost home, almost with Lucca and Leche, almost back to have tea with Bruce, almost home to taste that frozen chocolate muffin, almost home to speak to Richard about my insecurities, almost home to see the show with Kate. See you Thursday Cape Town.